Barney's Blog

Gimcrack here we come!

Afternoon everyone, Barney McGrew here again, King of Denton Hall.

Well, well, well – what about my young friend Arapaho Gold, eh? Didn’t I tell you he was a good ‘un?

Arappy (as I like to call him) went down to Newbury on Friday, stepped up in class to listed company, and won despite the race not quite going to plan.

He got a bump, which set him alight, and he still had enough left in the tank to beat Nabati, a colt who cost Godolphin 850,000 guineas. How many bloody carrots would that buy?

And, if you ask me, Arappy wasn’t really knuckling down once he got to the front, and had a lot more in the tank. He was what humans call "idling", which is what the Andrew Miller human does at mucking out time.

Anyway, next stop looks like the Gimcrack Stakes at the big York Ebor Festival, which is a Group 2 contest and one of the most historic races for juveniles in the country, going back to 1846.

I’m delighted for that nice Doug Graham human, who owns Arappy. He also co-owns my old mates Dakota Gold and Commanche Falls – the lucky bugger.

What perfect timing that Dakota Gold only retired last week after winning 17 races and now the Doug human has got a replacement like Arappy. You couldn’t make it up.

The only slight worry is that if Arappy does win the Gimcrack, it’s tradition for the winning owner to deliver a speech at the official Gimcrack Dinner.

For a start, it’s a very posh occasion, so Doug might not fit in with his dress sense. And anyone who’s ever heard him talk knows that, once he starts, it’s hard to shut him up. It might be best if I write the speech, or it could be a long night!

No offence, Doug. Congratulations. Bring carrots - there's a good lad.

TALKING of Dakota Gold, I’m happy to report that he’s enjoying his retirement already and has been out in the field with yours truly.

We’re getting on like a house on fire – here’s a picture of us my Carole took earlier this week. It’s so nice to have someone sensible and mature to talk to, instead of all those human dimwits.

(I don't mean you, Carole - I mean all t'others.)

ME and Goldy also watched the England Argentina game together during the week. What a bloody let-down!

Can someone please explain to me why the Thomas Tuchel human decided we should drop back into our own box for most of the second half after going 1-0 up?

Humans just don’t have any common sense, do they? Put a horse in charge and we might stand a chance.

Anyway, I was listening to the Andrew Miller human talking about football to one of our owners the other day. Mind you, bear in mind that Miller's Scottish, so I don’t think he’s qualified to speak with any authority.

“We didn’t have these fancy pitches up in Scotland,” he told the owner. “Our school team used to play on a mix of crushed stone, sand and gravel – we won 3-2 on aggregate!”

AS well as Arappy's latest victory, it was nice to see Imperial Guard win at Ayr last week.

He’s a horse we got from the Andrew Balding yard for the start of last season, but he’s taken a while to click. He won really nicely the other day so, hopefully, he can win again soon.

By the way, Imperial Guard (or Impy, as I like to call him) is a son of Night of Thunder, the winner of the 2014 Two Thousand Guineas. He’s therefore a half-brother to Nabati, the expensive Godolphin horse that got beat a neck by Arapaho Gold at Newbury.

However, I can confirm that Impy didn’t cost 850,000 guineas!!!

YOU hear some strange conversations between the dumb humans round here.

Our Travelling Head Lad, the Kenny Williams human, was talking to that nice Lauren Mulholland human outside my box the other day. This is how the conversation went:

“How come you’re limping, Kenny?” asked Lauren, who's a naturally caring person when it comes to old people.

“A bloody horse trod on my foot, and I’ve had to have a couple of toes amputated. Do you want to have a look?” said Kenny, offering to whip his sock off.

“No thanks,” replied Lauren. “I’m lack toes intolerant.”

That's all from me for another week, folks. Keep on yer toes and bring carrots!