Barney's Blog

It's all in a name

Evening all,

Hope the week went well and you backed a few winners.

I wanted to talk about names this week. Young ‘uns often ask me where my name comes from but anyone who’s a bit long in the tooth already knows the answer. Barney McGrew was a bearded fireman in a children’s TV series called Trumpton that was first shown on the BBC between January and March in 1967.

There was always a famous roll call by Captain Flack: “Pugh, Pugh, Barney McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble, Grubb.” Barney McGrew was the driver of the fire engine, although they never put out a fire. (You can watch the roll call here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6YE4PCRNwc)

The narrator was a human called Brian Cant and it always started with the words: “Here is the clock, the Trumpton clock, telling the time, steadily, sensibly, never too quickly, never to slowly, telling the time for Trumpton.” I’d have nodded off meself, but lots of young humans enjoyed it, apparently.

Anyhow, now you know a bit more about where my name comes from, I’ve been digging out the daftest names of racehorses over the years. There have been some right crackers and here’s my top ten:

1. Horsey McHorseface: Originally from New Zealand, he raced in Australia and was trained by a human called Bjorn Baker. He won his maiden at New South Wales.
2. Maythehorsebewithu: That one won a maiden by a neck and came fifth in the Melbourne Cup which isn’t a bad effort. Obviously owned by a Star Wars fan.
3. DoReMiFaSoLaTiDo: I feel sorry for the commentators, don’t you? Raced in New York and reached the high notes when winning a couple of races.
4. Hoof hearted: You have to say it quickly to get the full meaning. Raced in South Africa and was full of hot air and usually found bringing up the rear. I honestly don’t know how the commentator kept a straight face.
5. Passing wind: Won two of his races so was better than Hoof Hearted. Nevertheless, what possesses people to come up with names like that? (I never pass wind in public, by the way. Only in the privacy of my own stable because I was brought up properly.)
6. Geespot: Now this one’s clever if you think about it. By a sire called Pursuit of Love, out of a mare called My Discovery. Enough said.
7. Wear The Fox Hat: Again, it has to be said quickly. Don’t know how they got that one past the authorities but they did.
8. Whykickamoocow: They were obviously drunk when they named that one – that’s all I can say.
9. Potoooooooo. I think it comes from Pot – eight – o’s, but it’s half-baked if you ask me. He was a chestnut stallion who won nearly all his races between 1776 and 1783.
10. Arrrrrrrr: Last but not least, this one was designed to make the commentator sound like a pirate. Hilarious.

Oh, that reminds me, what’s a pirate’s favourite racecourse: “Redcaaaaaaaaar!” Get it? God, I’m funny.

Anyway, folks, let me know if you remember any other funny horse names. Lots of love