Barney's Blog

Open-mouthed with excitement

MORNING all, Barney McGrew here, the Lionel Messi of the horse racing world – pure bloody genius.

My first question this week is this: Is it only me, or is anyone else getting excited about that Arapaho Gold young ‘un?

I know The Gaffer doesn’t like to get too excited these days –- it’s not wise at his age – but I’m buzzing about the way Arappy has won his first two races.

He won easily on his debut at Thirsk and was just as impressive at the same track last week (see picture below). I reckon he's hardly got out of second gear so far. Mark my words, I regularly watch him over the wall when he’s going up the gallops and he looks something out of the ordinary to me – like sh*t off a shovel.

The only blip on his record was when the silly bugger reared up in the stalls at Beverley and had to be withdrawn. We had to get a human in called Craig Witheford to sort him out before his next run. Craig is described as an 'equine behaviour specialist'. Well, I consider myself to be a 'human behaviour specialist' and, believe me, they're a crazy species. I could write a book.

Anyway, Arappy is owned by that lucky Doug Graham human, well known for being a co-owner of my old muckers Commanche Falls and Dakota Gold.

As Commy and Goldy near the end of their careers, I'm pleased to say it looks like Doug has got another good horse on his hands. That’s good news because it should be easier for The Gaffer to persuade him to shell out on a yearling come the sales.

For now, I hear they're considering taking Arappy to Glorious Goodwood next. Well, those of you with good memories may remember that I won at the Sussex track back in 2007 when I was ridden by a Spanish human called Oscar Urbina. Peculiar fella. Kept shouting “Vamos” at me during the race but I had no idea what he was bloody talking about. When he dismounted, he gave me a pat and called me Grassy Arse. How rude.

Meanwhile, I see Commanche Falls, or Commy as I like to call him, is entered in The Stewards’ Cup again, at Goodwood. He’s already won the race back-to-back in 2021 and 2022 – the first horse to do the double in 54 years.

Imagine if the old lad could make it a hat-trick on August 1. And wouldn't it be wonderful if the Doug human had a Glorious double? COME ON, ARAPPY! COME ON COMMY!

Arapaho Gold winning at Thirsk

Commanche Falls winning one of his Stewards' Cups

I MENTIONED Lionel Messi at the start of this blog and I’ve enjoyed watching the World Cup so far. I have a telly with all the channels in my stable and it's very handy.

To be honest, I'm Irish so I'm not that bothered about England but they've got no chance if they don't stop relying on the Harry Kane human. He’s like me – gets better with age.

However, if you ask me, Spain and France are in a different league to England. It's like Frankel and Sea The Stars against a Group 2 horse (with due respect to my old friend Azure Blue, who won the Group 2 1895 Duke of York Clipper Stakes for our yard at York in May 2023).

I see the next England game is at 1am on Monday. Bugger that for a game of soldiers – I'll be off to bed for my beauty sleep.

The silver lining if England do get knocked out is that it’ll stop so many stupid humans singing “It’s coming home.”

In my capacity as a qualified human behaviour specialist, I can tell you they're crackers. It's not coming home – but England bloody well are if they don’t buck up their ideas.

ON another subject did you see that picture of the Andrew Miller human in the paddock at Redcar when he was leading round Callisterra recently?

Well, here’s a quick brainteaser for you: Was Miller a) Catching flies? b) Doing an impression of a goldfish? c) Suffering from lockjaw? d) Or shocked by the sight of our Travelling Head Lad, the Kenny Williams human, buying a round at the bar?

Let me know what you think and I’m also happy to receive other suggestions from my zillions of readers.

Oh, and by the way, I hope Miller's given those trousers back to the 10-year-old kid he pinched them off!

TALKING of Kenny Williams, just a warning that you might not recognise him if you bump into him.

Apparently, he was sent out by his wife to search for their lost dog the other night but came home without success.

“I’ve walked for miles but there’s no bloody sign of him,” said Kenny.

“Well, you’ll need to look harder,” replied his wife.

So Kenny got a tattoo, then bought a knuckle-duster, a leather jacket and a pair of Dr Martens.

That’s all from me, folks. Lots of love. Bring carrots.