Barney's Blog

Playing the game of patience

Hello again everybody, Barney McGrew here again – The King of Denton Hall.

Yes, yes, I know it’s been a while since my last blog but, quite frankly, it’s been too hot and I couldn’t be arsed.

Do you know how old I am? The likes of me and the Kenny Williams human have to take it a bit easier these days.

Anyway, there’s no hiding from the fact that it’s been a slower start than usual in terms of winners, but one of the things I’ve always admired about The Gaffer – the Michael human – is his refusal to risk jarring up horses by running them on ground that’s too fast.

He’ll often ask me to trot round my field to test the ground: “What do you reckon Barney?” he shouts. And, if I say it’s too firm, he takes my advice, which shows he’s not as daft as he looks.

When it comes to training racehorses, patience is a virtue, and the yard’s been back to winning ways lately, with Emeralds Pride, Taygar, Novamay, and Mayberry Moon all winning up to now in July and plenty more to look forward to.

Emeralds Pride has been a cracking mare for the Trevor Scothern human, winning seven times, including four victories at Beverley. That’s another thing I like about The Gaffer – he’s a big believer in horses for courses.

My wins came all over the place - I had two at Newcastle, plus victories at Ayr, York, Thirsk, Lingfield, Goodwood, Newmarket, and Wolverhampton - but other horses like particular tracks.

I was really pleased to see Taygar win at Ayr for the brothers who run Taylor’s Butchers in Darlington. Nice humans, famous for their pies. I’ll tell you what, lads, why not try a carrot pie? Believe me, it'll go down a bloody storm.

And did you see Novamay won by nine lengths at Ripon? I’ve had a quiet word with her about that and explained all about the strange human they call ‘the handicapper’. Hopefully, she’ll hold back a bit in future. Silly bugger.

I was pleased to see Mayberry Moon take advantage of the softer conditions over the other side of the country at Carlisle on Thursday, and I love the picture of him below. Check out the way he’s looking at the photographer, as if to say: “Who do you think you are, you stupid bloody human? Now sod off!”

Oh, and look at the Andrew Miller human, trying to look cool in his fancy shades. He thinks he's Brad Pitt but he couldn’t look cool if he shoved an ice-bucket on his head.

Onto other matters, and I wanted to wish the Chloe human well when she rides my old mucker, Roaring Ralph, in the Graham Lee Injured Jockeys Fund Stable Staff Stakes at Thirsk on July 25.

I like Chloe a lot – she’s a nice lass – but I still prefer her dam, Carole. She’s my favourite.

The charity race was the idea of that Adele Mulrennan human off the telly. It’s a great idea to give stable staff a ride in a race, while the pro jockeys lead up the horses.

Chloe’s always had a soft spot for Ralphy – as I like to call him – and it wouldn’t surprise me one bit if they won. Naturally, she would have preferred to ride me, but I honestly can’t be arsed. Not in this heat.

Anyway, it’s a fantastic cause so please show your support for Chloe – and Graham Lee – by making a donation at: https://www.justgiving.com/page/chloe-dods-1

A bit of worrying news about the Kenny Williams human, who's been summoned to appear in court after being served with a noise abatement order.

Kenny lives next door to a Spanish fella who called the cops because he wasn't too happy with Kenny playing his Madness records so loudly.

"Miguel's mad at me," said Kenny.

Finally, did you hear about the drama involving the David Metcalfe human at Newcastle Airport?

He was on his way back from holiday and banged his head when he tripped and fell into the luggage carousel.

I’m happy to report that he’s slowly coming round!

That’s all folks, see ya! Bring carrots!