Barney's Blog

Those who hit the target – and those who don't

Evening all, Barney McGrew here again – otherwise known as Barney The Bloody Wonder Horse.

Well, the theme of my latest blog is about those who bring pride to stable – and those who bring total embarrassment.

Let’s start on a positive note, shall we? The Chloe Dods human did us proud this week by donning her jockey silks to ride my old pal Roaring Ralph – or Ralphy as I like to call him – in the Graham Lee Injured Jockeys Fund Stable Staff race at Thirsk.

Chloe has a real soft spot for Ralphy and, although they didn’t win, they gave it a bloody good go. A furlong out, I thought they were coming to do it but they just got run out of it and finished third behind Leon Joughin on Karl Burke’s Liamarty Dreams and Kelvin Osborne on Harriet Bethell’s Ideal Guest.

All the horses in the race were led round the paddock by professional jockeys and that friendly human, Paul Mulrennan, led up Ralphy. I’m a big fan of Paul Mulrennan – you can't beat a nice grey.

The jockeys riding in the race had a target to raise £500 and the Chloe human did miles better than that. According to her JustGiving page, she’s reached the grand total of £2,135.

All the money raised goes to the Injured Jockeys Fund and will particularly help Graham Lee and his family, so well done, Chloe – we're all proud of you.

By the way, I quite like the idea of having a JustGiving page. Apparently, it’s easy to set up and people pledge donations.

I’m thinking of setting one up for carrots.

NOW onto those who don’t bring honour to the yard – namely that cheekie chappie Rhys Elliott human.

Don’t get me wrong, I like Rhys. He’s a lovely lad and a young jockey with a lot of potential.

However, he took part in a fundraising football competition at Redcar Racecourse as part of the Go Racing In Yorkshire Summer Festival last Sunday and, quite frankly, he couldn’t hit a barn door from four paces.

The competition is called Paddock and Chips. The jockeys have to go in the winner’s enclosure and chip balls into targets that equate to money being raised for Racing Welfare.

Well, let’s just say that Rhys is no Lionel Messi. He had five shots and didn’t score a single bloody point. In fact, one of his shots even sailed out of the paddock and nearly knocked a punter’s specs off.

Take my advice, Rhys. The way to kick a ball is to place it behind you, face the opposite direction, and give it a good buck. Try that next time.

(P.S Here’s a picture of the Rhys human in the Redcar paddock after the contest, fraternizing with a horse called Festival Freddie. What a gormless-looking sod – and I'm not talking about the horse!)

LATE ADDITION TO THE BLOG: To be fair to Rhys, he did ride a cracker at Windsor tonight to help Novamay defy a 21lbs rise in the handicap after her two wins at Ripon and Ayr.

What a performance by the filly, owned by the Antico Alliance. I'm chuffed to bits.

You see, I've got no problem with Rhys as a jockey - he's just a crap footballer.

BACK to last Sunday's meeting at Redcar Racecourse...I wasn’t at all happy when I tuned in to Racing TV last Sunday to see what they’d put my Carole through.

They made her lead up a horse called Deputy ahead of the Racing TV Apprentice Handicap because he can be an awkward customer (see the picture below). Sure enough, Deppy led her a right merry dance. Poor old Carole was knackered by the time the jockey mounted.

What got me was that those young uns – the Chloe and Sophie humans – just stood by and had a laugh at the way their dam was getting her arms pulled off.

Girls – you should be bloody ashamed of yourselves. She’s no spring chicken, you know!

I CAN’T let the week pass without saying well done to my old pal, Boy Douglas – or Dougie as I like to call him – for winning his third race at Ayr (see the picture below).

How many times have I told you – horses for courses!

Dougie’s favourite record is that old number by The Hollies – Ayr I Go Again.

FINALLY, a bit of health-related news concerning our Travelling Head Lad, the Kenny Williams human.

We’ve all been a bit worried about Kenny lately because he’s had a terrible cough that wouldn’t go away.

It reached the point where he was having a right old coughing fit in the yard the other day and coughed up a pawn, a knight, and a bishop.

The human vet was called and it turns out Kenny’s got a nasty chess infection.

ANYWAY, folks, that’s all from me for another week. Thanks for reading. Bring carrots. Lots of love.